New Year, New Plan

I can’t believe my hysteroscopy was only 2 weeks ago. It feels like so long ago. Does that mean time seems to be moving slowly or really fast?

2 weeks ago we were still planning on doing IVF. 2 weeks ago I had a hysteroscopy to make sure we weren’t missing anything before moving on to IVF. I didn’t actually expect to find that we were, in fact missing something! At most, I thought we might find some inflammation which would require a good dose of antibiotics before proceeding with IVF. Never did I imagine finding something that might change the entire plan. But we found a GAME CHANGER. We found what may just be the answer we never thought we’d get regarding our 5 miscarriages. A small, but fibrous uterine septum. Finding and removing that septum has completely changed our plan. We are now holding off on IVF and trying on our own again and I can’t be more excited! But 2 weeks ago I wasn’t sure how to feel. Below is the draft to a blog I wrote shortly after the surgery. 

 I never imagined I’d be sad or stressed with the news that we can hold of on IVF and try the good old fashioned way again. I’m thrilled my Dr. removed a small septum during my hysteroscopy. That septum might just be the answer we thought we’d never get regarding our 5 miscarriages. So why am I sad? Why am I stressed? We had a plan and we had a TIMELINE with IVF. Now it feels like we’re starting back at square 1. I’m thrilled that we may never have to spend $15,000 on IVF. I’m thrilled I may never have to experience the medications, injections, appointments, and everything else (things I have no idea about) that go with IVF. But I’m stressed and I’m kind of sad with the “loss” of IVF. Mostly the loss of a plan with a timeline!

How am I feeling now…just 2 weeks later? Really excited! I’m still a bit stressed about the timeline and not knowing when we’ll become pregnant. Will it take 2 months (like in the past) or will it take 8? I’m also stressed about all of those 2 weeks waits and the crazy, emotional roller coaster I’m on during those 2 weeks (and let’s be real…pretty much the entire time we’re ttc). Of course, I’m still terrified about actually becoming pregnant again and making it through that first trimester. The septum definitely could have been causing the miscarriages, but there’s no way to know for sure and I’m still going to be a nervous, terrified, stressed wreck most of the pregnancy. BUT… 2 weeks on vacation in Montana WITH FAMILY has done me a lot of good and I’m mostly just feeling really excited and POSITIVE about what’s to come. I feel like we’re going to get pregnant fairly quickly and I feel like everything is going to be okay! 2017 is our year! It’s got to be! So here’s to fresh starts and new beginnings as we start back at square 1 on our fertility journey!

 

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