The first 8 weeks!

I have a confession: I’m not proud of it, but before I had Jackson I judged moms on their mothering. NOT. ANY. MORE. This post isn’t about how amazing Jackson is (but he is AMAZING) OR how wonderful motherhood is (it IS wonderful) because everyone already knows all of that. That’s why pregnancies are so exciting. That’s why people have more than 1 kid. That’s why people put their wallets and bodies through so much to get a baby when struggling with infertility. That’s why D and I kept going after so many losses. I think it’s great that most of what we see on social media is a picture PERFECT portrayal of our lives. We should be more positive than negative (btw have you seen my baby’s sweet smile?-pic below), but I also love to see the not so picture perfect clutter in the background. I need to know that the mom with the cute girl in the most adorable outfit who did the sweetest thing for her new baby brother who is sleeping 6 hour stretches at night is also the mom whose new baby just sprayed poop all over the wall and that sweet girl threw a tantrum right after the photo was taken and we haven’t even mentioned the laundry and dishes and clutter blurred in the background just enough that no one will notice. This post is all about that blurred background because we all know about the rainbows and butterflies.

Motherhood is hard. Breastfeeding is HARD. Cloth diapering is actually not as hard as it seems. I went into this whole motherhood thing over confident and let me tell you I’ve been slapped in the face on a daily basis since. I’m no longer judging other moms because I now know that mom is judging herself and her own performance as a mother. She doesn’t need me judging her too. I now know that mom is doing her best, but she doesn’t feel like it’s good enough. She’s questioning every decision she makes and feels like she’s failing on a daily basis.

I knew I would worry about Jackson a TON because 1) I’m a mom and moms worry and 2) I’m a worrier. I had no idea how much I’d doubt myself as a mother though. We should have done more tummy time today. I should have put him down for his nap. I should have held him more. I should have taken him to the Dr. sooner. On and on and on.

The biggest doubting of all came with breastfeeding(bf)….and still does. I’m an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant and I struggled with bf. I knew bf was hard, but wow I had no idea just how hard it really is. I doubted (and still do) my supply. I always told my patients the first 2 weeks are hard. Just stick through those first 2 weeks and then you’ll love it. I had it in my mind that it was magically going to be perfect and different after the first 2 weeks. And then I hit day 15 and my nipples were still sore and I still couldn’t latch him in the snap of a finger and I still couldn’t bf with one arm and accomplish something else with the other and I still didn’t feel confident he was getting enough. Thank goodness a friend then told me the first 4-6 weeks are really hard because I was feeling pretty defeated when nothing had changed on day 15! I told Daniel at least 10 times that I understand why women stop bf. I told Daniel that I wish he could have the boobs with milk for just 24 hours. There’s something special and amazing about being the only one who can provide food for your child while bf, but it’s also incredibly exhausting and overwhelming. And so hard. Sore nipples. Rock hard, sore breasts. Leaking milk. Mastitis. Doubting supply. Pumping. My intent is not to deter you from bf, it’s just to let you know that it’s okay if you’re still not enjoying it and still struggling 5 weeks in. And I’m certainly not going to judge you if you’re 5 weeks in and no longer bf. I’m finally enjoying breastfeeding, but it took 7+ weeks to get here. I still doubt my supply and my nipples and breasts are still a bit sore, but I’m finally enjoying it more than the doubt and more than the sore.

Like so many moms have told me these past 8 weeks…you’re doing great and you’re enough. In fact, you’re perfect! Your baby needs you just the way you are!

P.s. Find your mom tribe! I am so happy to have found mine (SLAMfam you know who you are) and really can’t imagine doing this sahm (stay at home mom) life without them.

Adventures in Cloth Diapering Part 3: My Stash and Storage

Adventures in Cloth Diapering

Welcome to Part 3 of Adventures in Cloth Diapering:  My Stash and Storage! This is my final “planned” post. From here on out I’ll be sharing our cloth diapering experiences (good and bad, failures and successes, trial and error) as they come…I actually already have a fail to share a bit later! Keep reading to see our stash and “system”. Hit the little square in the upper right corner if you could care less about cloth diapering!

We will be using a combination of flat, prefold, and fitted diapers. We’ve purchased all of ours from Green Mountain Diapers (GMD). They’re often referred to as GMD diapers, but their brand name is also Cloth-eez. I’ve done years of research and read that GMD is the best! Haven’t put them to use yet, but their shipping is super speedy and they have some of the most reasonable prices…especially for fitted diapers!

These are flat diapers! They are the most “basic” old school diaper. This is what our grandma’s and great grandma’s used. It’s just a giant single layer of fabric that needs to be folded to be used as a diaper. Say what? It has to be folded? Yup…many in the cloth diapering world have never used flat diapers because they’re super intimidating, BUT I stumbled upon them in my research and have a really good feeling about them.

PROS:  1) They are the least expensive cloth diapering option 2) They fit from birth to potty training—that’s right…one diaper that fits for a really long time 3) They clean up really nicely and dry super fast since it’s a single layer of fabric 4) They are one of the most trim, yet absorbent cloth diapering options. 5) They’re customizable—they can be folded many different ways to put the absorbency where you need it for your baby.

CONS: 1) You have to fold them!

While the regular flat diapers will work from birth to potty training they also come in 1/2 and large sizes for an even more customizable fit! The photo on the left is a 1/2 flat which will give me a much more trim fit during the newborn stage. If you remember from my hesitations post a big bulky fluff butt was on that list so I was willing to spend the money on a 1/2 flat stash to get a more trim fit during the newborn stage! I really want to love flats so I decided I should go with the better fitting on a newborn 1/2 flats to give myself the best shot at loving them! The photo on the right is a regular flat. I don’t have any large flats and may never get them…if I do it will be a very long time from now. These diapers work newborn to potty training because of the way you can fold them to fit your baby and whatever stage/age they are in!

Photos of the flats in various stages of folding. The GMD flats also come in 2 different materials…Birdseye and muslin. The muslin are super soft and a bit more absorbent, but they’re also a bit more bulky. The Birdseye are a bit less absorbent, but also less bulky. The great thing about flats is that once I get to know my baby and his/her patterns and I can pick the size and material I need to make the perfect diaper. Example:  if my baby is a more heavy wetter in the morning I can go with the more absorbent muslin flat and then switch to the Birdseye in the afternoons. Or I can choose the more absorbent muslin flats for naptime. Or I can just fold it differently for different times of the day and different activities to put the absorbency where I need it (i.e. will the baby be crawling around or in the car seat).


This is what the flat diapers look like once they’re folded. Cute, tiny little diapers secured with either snappis, boingos, or good old fashioned safety pins (I’ll talk about these later). Different folds, different materials, different sizes. My stash includes 6 muslin 1/2 flats, 12 Birdseye 1/2 flats, 12 Birdseye regular flats, and 12 muslin regular flats. There’s going to be a big learning curve with flats as I figure out how to fold them and get the best fit for baby, but they seem like such a great option and I’m actually really excited to give them a try!


This is a prefold diaper. This is a very popular cloth diapering option and one of the more affordable options…although not as cheap as flats. It’s a square diaper divided into 3 different sections with a thicker section in the middle. The diaper can be folded into thirds and placed right inside the cover or it can be folded to be a bit more diaper shaped and fasted around the baby. They come in different sizes to get the best fit and absorbency for babies of different sizes/ages.

PROS:  1) Still budget friendly 2) Easier to use than flats

CONS: 1) Don’t wash quite as nicely since they’re more than 1 layer 2) More bulky than flats


This is an angel folded newborn sized prefold fastened with a boingo. The fold is super easy and only takes a second. I’ve read folding and fastening is a must with runny newborn poop. Folding into thirds (padfolding) and setting it inside the cover without a special fastener is a better option when the poops are more solid. Since I’ll be home with the baby all day I intend to mostly use flats. The prefolds will be a great option for Daniel and grandparents who diaper less often. It’s a bit easier and they won’t have to learn all of the folds…at least at the beginning! We have 12 size newborn and 12 size small prefolds. I’m waiting to buy larger sizes until we see what we like! Maybe we’ll all just love flats once we get them figured out and not feel the need to buy larger size prefolds.


This is a fitted diaper. Of all the diapers we’re going to use this will be the easiest. It’s already shaped like a diaper with elastic around the legs and has a flap sewn in for extra absorbency. These come with or without snaps. We went snapless because you can get a more customized fit and they should fit a bit longer because the flaps are a bit longer on the snapless. These are a lot more expensive than flats and prefolds (GMDs are very reasonable as far as fitted diapers go) but a lot easier to use since they’re already shaped like a diaper. This will be our nighttime and on the go diapering option since nobody wants to fold a diaper at 2am or in the Target bathroom…at least not while I’m still trying to figure it all out. We have 12 newborn size fitteds, 6 small, and 6 medium on the way.

PROS:  1) Super easy to use 2) Super absorbent

CONS:  1) Most expensive option 2) Don’t wash up as nicely and take longer to dry 3) Elastics can wear out


So you’re up to speed on flat, prefold, and fitted diapers! There are more options out there (all in one, hybrid, pocket, etc.), but those are the 3 styles we’re going with. The flats, prefolds, and fitteds do the dirty work…they catch the pee and poop, BUT they’re all cotton and require a waterproof cover so the contents of the diaper don’t soak through the clothes. Enter the super adorable and most fun part of cloth diapering…diaper covers! They keep the pee and poo in the cotton cloth diaper and off the clothes, crib, mom, etc. The best part about flat, prefold, and fitted diapers is that as long as poop didn’t escape the diaper cover can be used for more than one diaper change and only the flat/prefold/fitted cotton part needs to be changed every time. Some people wipe the inside of the cover and let it air dry and use 2 different covers alternately throughout the day. I’m not sure what we’ll do yet. Diaper covers are the most expensive part of cloth diapering so it’s nice that they can be reused and you can get away with less…although a lot of people still have tons of covers because they’re so darn cute. The covers come in different sizes or one size fits all. They have lots of snaps on them so they can be snapped down to fit smaller babies. I have one size and sized covers and plan to use the smaller sized covers during the newborn stage so I can get a better, more trim fit. Once baby grows we’ll mostly use one size diapers. We have 4 Thirsties size 1 covers, 1 Blueberry mini coverall, 1 Blueberry one-size capri, 1 newborn and 1 small GMD Cloth-eez Wrap (GMD recently came out with this cover…they only come in white, but they’re super affordable and I hear awesome), 1 Grovia one-size, and 1 AnAnBaby one-size. We’ve got plenty for the newborn stage, but will definitely need more as baby grows. I’m just waiting to see which ones we like best and if baby Newell is a boy or girl so we can buy some gender specific covers!


The “accessories”. The flat, prefold, and fitted diapers need to be fastened to stay on the baby! That’s where these funny looking things come in. The orange “t” shaped thing is a Snappi. It has little plastic teeth that grab onto the diaper on the left, right, and middle to hold it in place. The 2 blue things with stars are called Boingos. It also has little plastic teeth the grab onto the diaper and you use one on each side. And then you see the good old fashioned red diaper pins. I got some to have on hand but have a feeling I’ll prefer the Snappis and Boingos. The 3 white things on the right are onesie extenders. Fluff butts are bulkier than sposie butts and babies sometimes grow out of their clothes sooner because of it. Enter onsie extenders. These add length to onesies so they fit better over cloth diapers without having to size up! These should also help eliminate compression leaks.


What about the wipes? We’re going all out on this cloth diapering journey and using cloth wipes too! At first I thought that was a bit extreme until I realized I won’t have anywhere to throw disposable wipes so I might as well use cloth wipes and wash them with everything else. I have 24 Grovia cloth wipes and 24 GMD Cloth-eez 2 sided wipes. I may need to invest in even more wipes! The Grovia wipes are a bit bigger and super soft! The Cloth-eez wipes are smaller and not as soft, but will probably be a bit better at getting stubborn poop. We’ll keep the wipes dry at the changing station and wet however many we need with a spray bottle at each diaper change. We’ll have a spray bottle with plain H2O for simple diaper changes and a spray bottle with a homemade wipe solution for messy situations. We’ve got big ones for the changing station and smaller ones for the diaper bag. A lot of diaper rash creams can’t be used with cloth diapers so I got the Seedlings diaper rash cream from Young Living which only has cloth diaper safe ingredients.


Cloth diaper “add-ons”. Doublers and liners. Some babies are heavy wetters or outgrow the absorbency of the diaper even though the diaper itself still fits. That’s where doublers come in. They are extra layers of material sewn together to be placed inside of the diaper for extra absorbency. The upper left is a nighttime doubler and the upper middle is a small doubler. I have 3 of each just to have on hand in case we need them and to see if we like them. Cloth diapers don’t wick away the moisture like disposable diapers. Some babies don’t mind, but others hate feeling wet. That’s where the Malden Mills fleece liners come in. It’s just a thin layer of fleece that gets set inside the diaper against babies skin to wick away moisture and help the baby feel dry. We have 12 of the fleece liners. These seem like a great option for nap and nighttime when the diaper will hold plenty but you don’t want the baby waking up earlier just because they feel wet. On the bottom is a silk liner. I’ve read that these are a great, natural way to heal rashes. These are a bit pricy and have to be hand washed. We have 3 of these to have on hand and try out in case of rash. I think 3 should be fine since you have to hand wash them and they should dry quickly. I’ll just have to hand wash them real quick after each diaper change and hope it’s dry 2 diaper changes later! The 1/2 flats can also be folded and used as doublers when baby is bigger and not using them as flats anymore.


Osocozy Disposable liners. This is my peanut butter “solid” poo diapering solution! Does it kind of defeat the purpose of cloth diapering? Maybe…but I need a solution that doesn’t require me scraping poo off the diaper into the toilet. For that non plopable, no longer exclusively breastfed because we started solids poo we’re going to use these diaper liners and throw that poo out! These can also be used to protect the diapers when a non cloth safe rash cream HAS to be used and may also come in handy when we’re out and about since I won’t be able to rinse the diapers right away.


These adorable bags are Planet Wise wet bags. They’re purpose in life is holding dirty diapers. We’ve got a big one for longer/overnight trips and 2 smaller bags for the diaper bag whenever we’re out and about. They have super lining on the inside to keep all of the dirty diaper nasties on the inside and away from everything else in the diaper bag! They get turned inside out and thrown into the washer with the diapers.


This is a Disana wool diaper cover and the accessories that go with caring for it. Apparently wool is a bullet proof (read leak proof) diaper cover perfect for nighttime diapering and a full night of sleep! This cover has to be hand washed with special wool wash (Eucalan) and lanolized (occasionally- I have the NOW brand lanolin) to ensure it remains waterproof. Some people love wool covers so much that it’s the only kind of cover they use. We’re going to start out using it only at night. The crazy thing about wool is that it only needs to be washed a few times a month as long as poop doesn’t get on it. Crazy, right? Apparently you just air dry the cover during the day and it’s good to go again at night. It doesn’t get smelly…unless there’s poop on it…then it has to be hand washed. We only have 1 of these since they’re a bit more pricy and only requires washing a few times a month. We’ll have to size up at some point and it will be big for a while, but we’re starting with the smallest size they have.

What to do with the dirty diapers? Dirty diapers will be thrown into a garbage can with a Planet Wise wet bag liner until wash day. We’ll store the trash can in the guest bathroom shower as long as we don’t have guests. It will have to move around when we do! We’ll wash the diapers every other or every third day and like the wet bags above we’ll just turn the wet bag inside out and throw it in the wash with the diapers. Breastfed poop is water soluble and doesn’t require anything special…it can just be thrown right in the pail until wash day. I don’t really love the idea of that so I plan on spraying all of the diapers to clean out some of the pee/poo before wash day. We installed a diaper sprayer on the guest bathroom toilet and purchased a spray pal (photo on the left) for spraying our diapers. Basically, we’ll clip the diaper into the spray pal and hold it over the toilet while we use that silver sprayer to spray the contents of the diaper into the toilet. The spray pal helps prevent splattering…ewww! This becomes more necessary with solid poo because it must be removed before wash day, but I think I’ll feel better about this whole process if I spray every diaper from the get go!

Diapering station. We have a changing pad on top of the dresser with an awesome storage shelf with baskets from Hobby Lobby hung above it. The soft Grovia wipes are in a basket on the dresser (top right photo) and the 2 sided Cloth-eez wipes are in baskets on the shelf above the changing pad along with the rash cream. The diaper covers are in the wire baskets hanging from the shelf and the spray bottles hang from the rod on the shelf (bottom right photo). The dresser has 3 drawers on top. 2 smaller drawers the sides and a larger drawer in the middle. The drawer on the left has the prefolds, the middle drawer has the flats, fasteners, and onesie extenders, and the drawer on the right has the fitted diapers. Everything we need should just be a reach away.

Our other diapering items are stored in the closet. We’ve got next size up diapers in a cubby and the liners, doublers, wool products, and wipe spray ingredients are in the closet door organizer.

And there you have it! Our entire cloth diapering system! Sorry for such a long one, but there’s just a whole lot more to cloth diapering than disposables! For now on they should be shorter and easier to read as I share our trial and error!

Not long now and we’ll be putting all of this to use! I’m so ready to meet this baby of ours!
















Baby Newell’s Nursery

Time for a nursery reveal! This nursery has literally been a work in progress for (almost) 3 years…it’ll be 3 years in January. At first, I went back and forth between being practical and going all out. And then I had miscarriage after miscarriage and it quickly became an all out project. A good deal of  the designing/purchases took place after miscarriages, between pregnancies. Planning (and actually putting together) the nursery became therapeutic and helped me cope with each miscarriage. Much of the time the nursery door stayed shut, but there were plenty of times when I’d just go in there and sit, look around, dream, design, and do. I had just about everything purchased and/or put together (furniture and decorations—not actual baby gear) before we were even pregnant with Baby Newell due December 3rd. All I’ve done this pregnancy is hang the decorations and fine tune the furniture placement along with putting all of our teeny tiny baby items where they belong. I know that our babies will only be teeny tiny babies who we rock to sleep for a short time and I decided I’m going to rock my sweet babes to sleep in the nursery of my dreams. So now I present to you my 34 month in the making nursery! I hope you’ll love it as much as I do!


Looking in from the doorway. I think I’ve done a pretty good job making it unisex. I was worried the coral was a little too girly but I think the arrows balance it out nicely the other way. The neutral gray and white furniture make it feel calm and peaceful while at the same time the pops of bright color make it fun and playful.


The changing station. The handing shelf unit is from Hobby Lobby and the dresser is from Pottery Barn. The basket on the dresser was a Home Goods grand opening purchase!


The little elephant on the shelf was one of my first purchases in January of 2015. The theme (grey, turquoise/mint, coral/orange, elephants, and giraffes) developed from the purchase of this elephant and a giraffe wall hanging you’ll see later! I got the elephant basket on top from Target, stumbled upon the giraffe “piggy bank” at Tuesday Morning, and have had that little wooden giraffe since I was a kid. I think I got it at the San Diego Zoo when I was in elementary school! My mom sent the sign up top and those little hot air balloons are decorations from my baby shower.


Another view. I’ve not spared one inch of this room!


The mirrors, Be Brave sign, and cross are from Hobby Lobby. I painted the mirrors to match the color scheme. My mom made the small cross stitch sign and the adorable Noah’s Arc stained glass hanging in the window. Once we know if baby Newell is a boy or girl-and the name-she’ll finish another cross stitch that will go on the wall to the left of the rocker. The rocker was a huge Pottery Barn SPLURGE! I got some unexpected money from my TDY trip to West Point 2 years after I returned and immediately went and ordered the rocker and I am in LOVE. I can’t wait to breastfeed my baby in that rocker and I truly think it will look great in any room of our house once our babies are no longer babies! The rug is also from Pottery Barn. My mom found the blanket on sale online at Target after my baby shower and it could not be more perfect. The elephant (which you know Jake likes to trade his ball for) is from Target also. I’m pretty sure the lamp is from Target too! The poof foot rest is from land of nod and I found the grey table at Ross or Marshall’s quite some time ago. Everything has seriously been purchased and pieced together over 2+ years.


I fell in love with a crib that matches our dresser but just couldn’t spend that much on a crib (at least not after splurging on the dresser and rocker), but was lucky to find this Carter’s convertible crib in excellent condition on our neighborhood Facebook yard sale page for $100. It’s pure white while the dresser is a cream/off-white but they really look fine together. I made the banner above the crib. I’ve actually made 4. I made 1 with our boy name and one with our girl name 2 years ago and didn’t like it this pregnancy so I made new ones! The curtains, crib sheet, and pull toys are from Amazon. I couldn’t find a crib skirt I liked and stumbled upon an Etsy shop that made them so I had the crib rail covers, crib skirt, and changing pad covers custom made from Leah Ashley ( The owner is AWESOME! There are multiple fabric color/pattern options to choose from and you pick what you want where. We emailed back and forth multiple times with pictures of the crib and measurements to make sure they would fit properly and I got them fast. You can also get matching curtains, crib sheets, pillows, etc. And seriously great customer service! The mobile and the little orange beaded elephant on the grey stand in the previous photo are from Grassroots Uganda. It’s an organization that sells crafts made from women in Uganda. My mom bought them for me at a church bazaar a while back.


The decorations on the wall are from Hobby Lobby and the weekly tracker blocks are from a shop on Etsy. The striped bins are from Land of Nod and the other bin was a Ross or Marshalls purchase some time ago.  The books were all baby shower gifts! I had the elephant and giraffe pictures specially matted and I mounted the elephant head on a board I cut out and covered with scrapbook paper. Daniel made the cubby and I painted it!


The giraffe hanging was that other purchase from January 2015 that inspired the theme of the nursery. The light switch cover is from Hobby Lobby and I got the elephant night light from an Etsy shop. The books were all baby shower gifts and I made the book slings. That wall space between the bedroom door and closet doors is tiny and not really functional, but I saw the book sling idea on Pinterest a couple of years ago and new it would be the perfect solution for that space. It doesn’t actually hold tons of books but it’s super cute and I love that the books face out! I made the book slings the day of our (failed) IUI to keep myself busy and my mind occupied.


A look at the closet. The left closet door doesn’t open all of the way due to the cubby…I truly have every inch of that nursery accounted for!


Not the cutest storage solution, but functional. Mostly breast pumping, bath time, and cloth diaper storage.


Some cuter storage solutions on the left side. The grey and white baskets on the top shelf are from Ross or Marshalls and the blue baskets were a gift. I made the little labels and will use those baskets to store too small or too big clothes. Right now I just have a boys clothes and a girls clothes basket until we find out what we to hang up! The door hanger and “burp rag hanger” are from Amazon. I used a command hook to hang mesh laundry bags on the wall behind the hamper so we can put tiny things like baby socks and mittens in the bag and just throw it in the washer so we don’t lose too many socks! I also made closet dividers to divide the hanging clothes by size.


Daniel made the closet cubby and I painted it 2 years ago last month! More striped baskets from Land of Nod and the basket on the top shelf match the basket on the dresser, both from Home Goods. This cubby is basically cloth diaper and pumping storage with some blankets on top as well as random things like pacifier clips and pacifiers in the basket on top.


That’s it! Let me know if you’d like to know more specifically where I got something or what brand it is! Only 6ish weeks until we meet this little one! Until then I’ll be daydreaming in that rocker!

Adventures in Cloth Diapering: Part 2: My Hesitations

Now you know why I’ve chosen to cloth diaper, but I promise I’ve got plenty of hesitations and doubts too. There might actually be more bullets on my hesitations list than my why list! Read on…

AiCD Part2
Rashes: I know in my why blog I said decreased rashes, BUT now I’m part of a few cloth diapering Facebook pages and seeing tons about rashes. Wetness rashes, ammonia rashes, detergent rashes…so many rashes and it’s super overwhelming! I just need to remember that the Facebook page I’m seeing all of these rashes on is a troubleshooting page where people go when they have problems! There are TONS of people who never have any issues and I just don’t hear about their successes because they’re not on the Facebook page asking for advice…all is going well!

Wash Routine:  So I should probably just not be a part of this Facebook page until I actually have issues and need help because it also has me freaking out about wash routines! I knew I’d need to wash my diapers separately but figured I just throw them in and wash them like any other load. Apparently this may not be the case. Apparently…front loaders aren’t great for cloth because they use less water and don’t have an agitator! To get poopy diapers clean you need water and agitation. So…if you’re load isn’t real full you actually need to add items to it to add bulk which gets more water but specifically more agitation because they all rub against each other to get clean! Apparently powder detergents work better than liquid and some detergents aren’t recommended at all! Water hardness and pH can also alter the wash routine so I bought test strips to figure out where our water stands! Holy moly it sounds like there is going to be some serious trial and error!

Leaks:  Another one contradicting my why list! I haven’t heard bad things about poopy blowouts which makes me feel real good but apparently pee leaks can be an issue. Babies can outgrow the absorbency of the diapers or they can get compression leaks from onesies and clothing. If the fit isn’t just right they can get leaks out of leg gaps or out the back/front wherever! Luckily, Etsy sells onesie extenders which help onesies fit better over bulky cloth diapers which can help prevent compression leaks!

Bulky Butt/Tight Clothing:  This hesitation may be a little silly, but I’m nervous about how bulky cloth diaper bottoms can be and how well clothes will fit! I’ve read that mamas who cloth diaper have to size up early in clothing so they’ll fit over the big bottoms but then they may be too long and I’m just not sure I love how bulky some cloth diapers look! I’m pretty sure I’ve found a solution to this problem which you’ll find out more about when you see my stash and the style of diapers I’ve chose to go with!

Night Time and On the Go Diaper Changes:  Cloth seems a whole lot more intimidating when I’m trying to change a diaper while sleep deprived in the middle of the night or while on the go at a restaurant/store. I’d love to stay away from disposables completely but I’m also being realistic and may have a sposie stash to take on the go. When I talk about my stash you’ll see my nighttime/on the go cloth solutions too!

Solid Poo:  Solid poo scares me. I know I’ve got a while before I need to worry about solid poo, but it still scares me. Exclusive breastmilk poo is water soluble and requires nothing special, but solid poo must be flushed and that just doesn’t sound real great! I’ve hopefully got a solution for this too…which I’ll show you when I blog about my stash!

Dirty Diaper Storage:  This is another area I’m just not sure about. I’ve read that some people have no issue with smells and other people do…so I suppose we’ll just have to wait and see. I’ll have enough diapers to wash every 2 or 3 days so the dirty ones will have to be stored somewhere while waiting for wash day. Some people love diaper pails and wet bags, but I’ve also heard it is not pleasant opening them up on wash day! Some people swear by laundry hampers with airflow so I just don’t know! I’m still working on my plan for this one!

I think that’s about it for my hesitations! I think I just need to relax and wait and see how it goes for us! I’ll share my good and bad as we’re doing it live!

Adventures in Cloth Diapering: Part 1: My Why

Welcome to part 1 of my Adventures in Cloth Diapering blog series! This series will include my why, my hesitations, my stash, my storage, and my experiences (good and bad) with cloth diapering! Today is all about why I’ve we’ve I’ve (D is completely on board…but probably wouldn’t have chosen cloth if I wasn’t pushing for it!) chosen to cloth diaper! I started researching cloth diapering YEARS ago (at least 2…maybe even 3)! For whatever reason, it seemed like something I should look into. Keep reading to find out what I discovered!

$Saving$: Saving money seems to be one of the big draws of cloth diapering! Some people will argue that you can save hundreds and hundreds of dollars with cloth diapering (which you can)…but we’re probably not going to…at least not with our first kiddo. I’m all about paying for convenience (so why not pay for sposies? Illogical, I know… but $ wasn’t my only why!) and since I’m still working and bringing in some dough I have the convenience of paying for convenience! The next time around…not so much, but it will be okay because we’ll already have our stash! Our real savings will come with kiddoes 2, 3, and….who knows how many babies we’ll have!

Decreased Rashes: I’ve also read that babies who are cloth diapered get fewer rashes. This was probably my biggest reason for choosing cloth! You’ll hear my concerns about this in my next blog…hesitations! And let me tell you…there are more concerns than I’d like at this point!

Green: Another big draw is the environmental impact. I’ve never been super “green”, but I can say it feels good to have more go out in the recycling every week than the garbage and I’ll feel good about not throwing all of those sposies away!

Fewer Blowouts: I’ve read that babies who are cloth diapered have fewer blowouts too!

Earlier Potty Training: Because cloth diapers don’t have those chemical absorbers babies in cloth feel more wet which I’ve read can lead to earlier potty training! I guess we’ll just have to wait and see on this one!

Adorable Prints: Fluff butts are adorable. They have the cutest cloth diaper prints these days!

Not Your Grandma’s Cloth Diapering: Cloth diapering has come a long way since our parents and (especially) grandparents did it! There are tons of different options out there that make cloth diapering a heck of a lot easier than it was years ago. When you read about my stash you’ll see that I’ve still chosen to go pretty “old school” with cloth diapering and I’ll explain why!

I’ve got plenty of hesitations too, but for some reason I feel like cloth diapering is just something I should do and at this point we’ve got a starter stash and have invested enough money that there really isn’t any going back now! Wish us luck!


It’s A…

Gender Blog Cover

Daniel and I had our anatomy scan today and everything is looking great! I love, love, love seeing our little one! The anatomy scan is also when people get to find out the sex of their baby….sometimes I get a little annoyed because it seems like people think that’s the whole point of the anatomy scan but really it’s to take a look at every inch of the baby (spine, brain, kidneys, etc.) to make sure it looks healthy! So…without further ado…














That’s right….Daniel and I have decided NOT to find out our baby’s gender (which a lot of you already know, sorry for the tease). I thought it would be a lot more difficult than it has been to wait to find out if our baby is a boy or girl but it truly hasn’t been that challenging. I have the opportunity to do more ultrasounds than the average Jane since I’m a labor and delivery nurse but I just don’t have the temptation to take a peak and find out. I love peaking in on our little one but I don’t feel the need to find out if it’s a boy or girl. We truly don’t care either way and it seems so exciting to wait until the birth! I think it will be so exciting to hear Daniel announce, “It’s a ______!” shortly after birth! I’ve always wanted to go gender neutral with the nursery and big stuff (stroller, pack n’ play, car seat, etc.) but not being able to pick out gender specific clothes is probably the hardest thing about all of this!  I’m a Type A planner so it’s a bit difficult not being stocked up on clothes, but I know it will be worth the wait and so exciting! The experience and surprise of a lifetime! We’ve had a girl and boy name picked out for awhile so we’re good to go there! December really isn’t all that far away! In the meantime check out our wives’ tale gender predictions!


So….based on the gender predictions majority says BOY!

The sonographer didn’t actually see the gender either because baby was breech with legs crossed looking down at my back. She probably didn’t try too hard since we didn’t want to know anyway. Who knows…maybe mother’s intuition will be right!

Only time (and birth) will tell!



Baby Newell


So my mom (and a few other people) pointed out that my pregnancy reveal included absolutely NO details. So…details!


As you all know (I think), my body didn’t cooperate in January/February (the first month we were able to try again post hysterscopy and septum removal) and wasn’t going to ovulate on its own so we pumped it full of drugs and made it ovulate and did IUI (intrauterine insemination) in February. The IUI didn’t work and that big fat negative (pregnancy test) was a lot more difficult than I was anticipating. We decided to take a break in March. You may recall I had some crazy plans for my break and decided to take a break from my break (and blogged about it). We weren’t NOT trying, but we weren’t actively trying either. I didn’t track ovulation or take progesterone or any of that other crazy stuff people with infertility do. I just relaxed and tried to focus my attention elsewhere.


Well…I did take one ovulation test. I don’t know why I took it because ovulation tests don’t actually work for me. I NEVER get positive home ovulation tests. Even when I had a blood test to confirm ovulation I took 2 different brand ovulation tests at home and neither of them were positive. So…tracking ovulation for me means drawing my blood every 2-3 days. BUT…for some odd reason on a random day in March I took an ovulation test and it was positive! And I freaked out because our work schedules weren’t “working” in our favor…if you know what I mean. So I went through the rest of the month trying to focus my attention elsewhere thinking there was no way I’d be pregnant. But as the month progressed I just knew I was pregnant. I had NO symptoms and no reason to believe I was pregnant, but I just knew I was. So on March 23rd I took a pregnancy test (6 days before my expected period which is a bit early in the world of home pregnancy tests). I wasn’t really expecting it to be positive (because of that ovulation test- even though I knew I was pregnant- I know that doesn’t really make sense) so I actually set it on the counter and went and watched TV and took a nap for a few hours. When I woke up and walked by the pregnancy test I saw that 2nd line that confirmed what I somehow knew deep down inside. Even though I knew deep down that I was pregnant I couldn’t believe it. So I went to the store and bought 2 more brands of pregnancy tests (I already had 2 different brands at home). I took 6 pregnancy tests (3 different brands, 4 of the same brand) and an ovulation test (which they say can work as a pregnancy test). All were positive. But I still didn’t believe it so I saved four pregnancy tests for the next morning so I could use good, fresh, concentrated first morning pee. I also saved my 1 and only digital test for that next morning. The kind that doesn’t require interpreting a second line and says “PREGNANT” or “NOT PREGNANT”. That digital test (which hadn’t expired) was what I considered to be the mother of all pregnancy tests. It costs the most and gives a straight up no interpretation answer. So the next morning I woke up around 3 or 4 to pee and didn’t want to wait until I was truly waking up for the morning to take the tests (because I’m inpatient and I wanted that first morning pee). I took 4 tests, all different brands and 3 of them were positive. But that expensive, digital, “mother of all tests” test said “NOT PREGNANT” and I was like what the heck, no way, this test is wrong. And obviously it was. But what the heck? I’m pretty sure that “positive” ovulation test was wrong too which makes sense because home ovulation tests don’t work for me. Our early ultrasound dates confirm that I probably ovulated when I suspect I usually ovulate. Minus January my body is typically pretty consistent as far as the menstrual cycle goes.



I worked the morning of my final 4 home pregnancy tests so I had my blood drawn to confirm 10 of the 11 pregnancy. My hcg was 50.3 and progesterone was 31.7 which was great since I hadn’t been on progesterone and didn’t need to start it. Hooray…I HATE progesterone.

Unlike the previous 3 pregnancies I decided NOT to draw my blood every 2 to 3 days and NOT to get an ultrasound too early. I’ve had good blood draws in the past and know they don’t mean everything is going to be okay. I’ve had bad blood draws too and know that those just cause even more worry and stress.

So I decided I wasn’t going to draw my blood all the time and I wasn’t going to get an ultrasound too early when we may or may not see something but it could be fine either way. I wanted to wait to have my first ultrasound until I was far enough along that there wouldn’t be any question what we should see. Lots of blood draws and early ultrasounds don’t change the outcome. They just cause more worry….in my experience. After my positive blood test I waited a few days to call and schedule my first ultrasound and I was really upset when they wouldn’t schedule it until I had a second, confirmation blood draw (to make sure my hcg was rising appropriately). This is exactly what I didn’t want to do, but I also understood that I needed to follow the protocol and get the second blood draw. That second blood draw confirmed my decision to NOT draw my blood. I was so nervous all day until I got the results and it was stressful and not fun at all. Thankfully the results were good. I wanted my hcg to be at least 200 and it was 383.7 and my progesterone was 28.1 (lower but still fine and still not requiring progesterone suppositories). They offered to schedule my ultrasound in my 6th week but I asked to push it back to the 7th. Again…I wanted to go into that appointment knowing that we should absolutely see a heartbeat. I didn’t want there to be a scenario where we see and gestational sac, yolk sac, and fetal pole, but no heartbeat but “that’s okay, it might be too early still.” Nope…don’t want there to be any chance it’s just too early.

I scheduled my first ultrasound for 7w1d (7 weeks 1 day). The last day of a four day weekend. We headed to the beach the first 3 days of that weekend to keep our minds off the upcoming appointment. We were so nervous for that appointment. I don’t think either of us slept the night before and I definitely had non-pregnancy related stomach issues the morning of. I scheduled it for 8 am so we wouldn’t have to wait around all day. Best idea ever. We saw our blob baby AND a heartbeat at that first appointment. We were so incredibly happy but still incredibly scared. We were excited but there weren’t any tears shed. We were both just waiting for another ultrasound with bad news and it was surreal when it wasn’t bad news. So much relief, but still so much fear. Daniel did tear up once we were back in the car driving home and heard his parents’ responses.

When you’ve had 5 miscarriages everyone is excited to hear good news, but it’s guarded and it’s just not that same naive, innocent excitement that you experience with the first pregnancy…before everything has gone wrong. We sent our families a video with the flickering little heartbeat on the way home from that appointment to let them in on the news. My mom already knew because she’s sneaky and inpatient and I couldn’t lie. Below are our weekly ultrasounds starting at 7 weeks.

7 weeks

Our perfect blob baby at 7w1d measuring exactly 7w1d. HR 133. 

There were still a whole lot of nerves going into our 8 week ultrasound. We were excited to see how much the baby had changed but so afraid that little heart might not be beating any more.

8 weeks

Our perfect little seahorse baby at 8w1d measuring exactly 8w1d. HR 158.                                   Baby read the book the first 2 weeks. 

We graduated to the abdominal ultrasound in week 9. This was a HUGE milestone and one of the moments that really helped me relax and start getting more excited. I have serious anxiety with vaginal ultrasounds because I’ve had 10+ and all but my last 2 revealed bad news. Putting the ultrasound on my belly and seeing a baby inside made it so much more real and truly helped me relax and feel like things really were going well. We also heard the baby’s heartbeat with our home Doppler for the first time in week 9. 9w5d to be exact. Cinco de Mayo. Daniel didn’t want me to try because he knew it was a little early to be trying at home and knew I would FREAK out if I didn’t find it. Thankfully I found it pretty quickly. A nice, strong little heartbeat and it was so exciting!

9 weeks

Baby looking more like a baby! You can see little arm nubs. 9w2d measuring 9w3d. HR 174. 

10 weeks. Super silly and superstitious reasons to be nervous for this ultrasound…BUT this was the first ultrasound Daniel couldn’t make it to and this is the first ultrasound I scheduled on a work day. Those 2 changes made me SO nervous. What if it’s not good today and Daniel isn’t here AND I have to go to work afterward. Thankful for good news and so fun to see how much baby changes week to week.

10 weeks

Our overachiever baby at 10w2d measuring 10w5d. Looking more like a baby but also a bit creepy. HR164.

Always a lot to be nervous and afraid for before an ultrasound but mostly just really excited to see how much baby has changed at this point. We had 2 ultrasounds during week 11. 1 with the fertility clinic and 1 with my regular OB provider at our first appointment. I’m trying not to be too crazy with Doppler and ultrasounds but Daniel wasn’t able to be at the previous 2 appointments so I really wanted him to see baby at our regular appointment. I don’t have any pictures from that appointment but it’s the first time we really saw baby’s legs. I was starting to worry our baby didn’t have legs but we saw them real well at this appointment and they seemed soooo long! Our Dr. was also convinced she would be able to see the sex if we wanted to know. We did not want to know and I don’t think she actually saw anything and was just offering to look but Daniel thinks she must have seen a boy since she was so sure she’d be able to let us know! Neither of us really feel like it’s one or the other, but it’s fun to speculate.

11 weeks

Not the greatest picture, but baby looked so much like a baby this week. 11w2d measuring 11w4d. First time I really saw baby move. Moving arms & bouncing on uterus. HR 164.

Our 12 week ultrasound was our final ultrasound with the infertility clinic. I “graduated” from infertility. Bittersweet as it’s good news to be graduating because it means all is well but sad to see the end of weekly ultrasounds, peaking in on our little one, and weekly visits with the wonderful nurses and doctors at the clinic.

12 weeks

12w2d measuring all over the place. Baby wouldn’t hold still to get a good measurement! HR 151. Baby kicked me and sucked its thumb. 

I still can’t believe we’re really going to have a baby by the end of the year. We’re due on December 3rd and I’ve had a pretty good first trimester. A little bit of nausea, but mostly a lack of appetite in the beginning. I actually lost about 7 pounds even though I never threw up, but I’ve now started gaining and am even starting to show a little bit. I’m definitely tired. Naps and 7-8pm bedtime are my friends. I can’t believe there is a tiny little human being with its’ own beating heart and own little brain moving around inside of me (and I can’t feel it!). It’s truly incredible and I’m so thankful for answered prayers.

Daniel and I feel truly blessed for all we have in our lives. We are so thankful for all of you who have been praying and rooting for us the entire way. We are so blessed to have such amazing and supportive friends and family. We’re really just overjoyed and still can’t quite believe it all. I don’t think we can ever thank you all enough for your continued love and support. Blessed. Excited. Amazed. Thankful. Overjoyed.

To those of you still struggling with infertility. I’ve debated long and heard for quite some time (long before this pregnancy) whether or not to do a big Facebook and blog announcement when we finally have a successful pregnancy and good news to share. I know how hard it is to see pregnancy announcements. I know the happiness you feel for the other person, but I know the pain you feel for yourself. I waited a long time for this moment so I decided to take it. Not only for myself, but also for all of the people who have been cheering us on and keeping us in their prayers. I want you to know that I was thinking about you and remembering you and your struggles all day today. You’re in my daily prayers. I’m rooting for you and praying for you and your moment. I want your dreams to come true and I’ll be here for your every step of the way.